Never Giving Up Hope: Finding My Roots

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“I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

Psalm-16:8 (NIV)

 

This past April, I had the profound privilege of meeting my grandmother Alice. For those of you that have followed my blog you know that I have been on a journey the past two years trying to find my roots.

I finally found a relative on my biological dad’s side that led me to my dad’s mom Alice. What is so amazing about finding her is that for the past 42 years she has prayed daily for me and never gave up hope of finding me. Since the day a certified letter was mailed to my father telling him my mother had given birth to me and I had been put up for adoption, my grandmother started praying. She continued to pray even after the death of my father, never giving up hope that I would one day find them.

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When Hope Seems Lost

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“But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

I heard a story on the news recently about a young man who was devastated when he had to relinquish his new born daughter to authorities in Utah. His girlfriend had given birth to a healthy baby girl and he had spent every waking moment with the child. His girlfriend’s parents were pressuring her to relinquish the child for adoption to some friends of theirs. However, the biological father of the child wanted to keep her very badly and had lots of family and friend support. Unknown to him, the mother had signed the adoption papers and the child by Utah law, was now no longer his. As many of you know, I am very much for adoption, but in cases like this, I’m appalled that the father did not have any rights to the child.  I truly am praying for him and his family as they take on the legal system in Utah. Fathers have rights too, and I hope that this case will not be swept under the rug. This I think is a great example of holding onto faith and trusting God that He will set things right.

Seeing the Unseen

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“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance

About what we do not see.”

Hebrews 11:1(NIV)

In life it’s easy to get discouraged by things and to lose hope. Just as the sun comes up faithfully each day, so too are God’s words to us. Endure and persevere in our relationship to Jesus. Nothing else matters, not adoption, infertility, weight loss. God’s wisdom is made visible in Jesus. When we trust that God is smarter and wiser than us and acknowledge His faithfulness, we begin to see the unseen. Faith isn’t faith sometimes unless it’s all your holding on it.

Never Enough Hours in A Day

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Time always seems to be something I am running out of. 24 hours in one day doesn’t seem like enough to get everything I need to get done, completed. Einstein said that the older we get the faster time seems to go by. Either I am trying to do too much each day or I’m just not that great at managing my time. With kids, a husband, pets, students, parents of students, homework, errands and after school activities my kids need to get to, I wonder half the time what I’m doing. I think sometimes we just need to stop and take time to smell the roses.

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Welcome to My Blog

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Finding My Roots Continued Finally-

Week 5

That night as I laid in bed my phone dinged.

“Whose texting you at this time?” My husband asked as I looked at the the clock.

“I don’t know?”

I grabbed my phone and was surprised to see that it was Paula. She had read my message I had sent her on messenger and had written back.

“Oh my gosh honey, look!” I showed him my phone.

“That’s great Kelly. Are you going to answer her back?”

“Yes, of course silly! She wants me to know that she is still processing everything but since I leave on my cruise tomorrow with Jen, she wants me to have lots of fun.

Scott leaned in. “What are you going to say to her?”

I started typing.”Um…that she can take all the time she needs to process things. I’m not going anywhere except on my cruise tomorrow. Haha.”

My phone dinged again.

“Wow, she can’t believe how much I look like her. She wants to know what color my eyes are and what my favorite color is. And she is worried that she is keeping me from packing.’

Scott laughed. “She doesn’t know you yet, if she did, she would know you packed a month ago.”

Rolling my eyes at him I began typing a reply. “Purple, eyes are green and no I’m completely packed don’t worry.”

I waited to see if my phone would ding again. A few more minutes went by and it remained silent. “I guess that’s it for tonight.”

My husband smiled at me.”It’s a good start right, more than you hoped for.”

“Yeah.”

Another ding had me snatching my phone off the nightstand. “She wants to know if my family was supportive when I got pregnant as a teen? Also if I’m close to my adopted mom?”

Scott let out a deep breath. “Both are pretty big questions.”

I stated to type back my response, not sure exactly how to answer either question really. On the one hand, I didn’t want her to feel bad for me and on the other hand I didn’t want her to think bad of my parents. How does one respond in a text to that?

Another ding made me smile. She asked if she could call me.

I said. “Sure.”

Read more next week

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silly Boo Boo

I know you all are waiting for the next part in finding my roots. I sadly knocked liquid all over my keyboard and am now waiting on a replacement board. I am typing this a letter at a time from my touch screen. I’ll post as soon as I can. 😩