A Faith Tested, Part Four

“Is something wrong with the baby?” I asked interrupting her, my heart in my throat.

She shook her head no before looking at the ground. “I don’t know how to tell you this except to come right out and say it.” She took a deep breath while we held ours. “The birth mother has changed her mind and doesn’t want to give her up now.”

I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach. “No, not again, please let us just talk to her…”

I couldn’t go on the tears were pooling in my eyes threatened to break through. I didn’t know how I could go on after this. Why God? Why would you let this happen to us again?

I’m not sure how I got home that day, I was numb. I couldn’t go near the baby’s room without breaking into tears. Decorations from the baby shower were still sitting on my mantel and everywhere I looked I saw baby items for a baby I didn’t have.  I had to get away for a while, lick my wounds, and come to terms with the fact, that I might never become a mom.

Art wasn’t doing much better than I was, and he agreed that we needed to leave home for a while.  We wanted to go someplace happy and settled on Disney World, it is after all the happiest place on Earth right? We left for Florida the next day, hoping that our heavy hearts would find some joy once again.

The humid air greeted us as we stepped off the air plane was a welcomed relief to the dryness we had at home. Beautiful flowers, dotted the landscape of lush green bushes surrounding the airport. I was excited as we drove to the hotel. It was nice to not have to think about anything.

After dropping off our bags in our room, we decided to head over to Disney World. It was a short drive and on the way we chatted about how different Florida was from Colorado. The parking lot was huge and the amount of cars filing to get in was a clear indication of its popularity. My husband and I, had been talking about going to Disney World for years, but like lots of things we just put it off.

We spent the first day exploring the different worlds, admiring the work that was put into it. We sampled a variety of food along the way. Everywhere we went, we were surrounded by families of all kinds. I had always imagined that we would one day take our own child here, but with each disappointment, I feared it wouldn’t ever happen.

The next day we had an early start and were just starting to explore Epcot when Art’s phone rang. He walked over by the pond and I figured it must be something to do with work. I continued to meander through the small shops keeping an eye on him.

When he came back, he was shaking his head. “You’re not going to believe this.”

He looked upset and I worried that it was about work. “Is it work?”

He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “That was Susan at the adoption agency.”

 

To be continued….

Kelly

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