Now when I say excess weight, I mean the emotional baggage that ties us to food. I’ve learned many things on this journey and one lesson was that I’m an emotional eater. I don’t really need a reason to eat, but my emotions help fuel my appetite.  Part of my baggage was denial; you see if I didn’t get on the scale, then I could keep deluding myself that I wasn’t as big as I was. The scale became the monster in the closet and I avoided it like the plague.

What was causing me to eat? Lots of things, stress, hurt, anger, un- forgiveness etc.  I was lying to others and worst of all I was lying to myself. “I don’t eat that much, how can I be this huge?” I began to journal not only what I ate but what I was feeling when I ate. What I began to see was this pattern of self- destruction. I was my own worst enemy.  Some of my hurt came from my childhood; other parts came from my daily life. I found that I needed to let go of the pain and hurt and quit blaming my addiction on it. I needed to forgive those who had done me harm and work through the pain instead of eating at it. The more I forgave and the more I wrote in my journal the better I felt. I prayed every day that God would help me, and He did.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.” NIV Jeremiah 17:7

A dusty diamond,

Kelly

Advertisements